I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
