I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize