i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
