I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
