need another drink. this is the easiest way
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
