So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
