a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do vagina's smell?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
