its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
