new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i need some magic done to my vagina
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
