i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
