she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
