I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
