So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
