it's like iHOP with fire
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
