piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
