well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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