in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
