I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
dude. I can hear the air.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
