Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
