You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We have started to decorate penises.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
