Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
