So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i think i have two assholes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
