get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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