so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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