Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
foreskin is a definite game changer
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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