you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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