turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
