Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
