In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
that may or may not have been my penis.
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