hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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