stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize