too bad you live with your parents still
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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