I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
as a side note pls kill me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
