Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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