There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize