i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
