New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My ass is underappreciated
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
