tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
