so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
