How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we made out on top of his cat.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
