Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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