Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
