In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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