Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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