I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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