he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
