WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's shark week go big or go home
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
