So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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