Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
