broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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