she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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