your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Little spoons don't ask big questions
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
