That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
