You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
