Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
