I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
