Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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