Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize