what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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