Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
