I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
