I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
