Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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