tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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