his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
