why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
