"it" just moved
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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