a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
