She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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