giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
