giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
