Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
