I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
