im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize