I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
