ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
