His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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